A love that conquers all...

A LOVE that moves Mts...

A LOVE that bridges great divides...

A LOVE that brings value, hope and joy to ones heart...

I'm finding myself in that place again... that place of deep heart break over the pain and feels of worthlessness of my kids...

NO I'm not a mom... but sometimes I feel like it. Someone once told me that there are "moms" and there are "spiritual moms"...

I might be single. Its true I've never had sex... but truly I tell you I am a mom.

My heart hurts as a mother's heart does when she sees her children aching with rejection, or need. My heart breaks as I watch them search for LOVE and value in things and people that hold only temporary feelings of lust.

I want them to know the LOVE that will change their life forever! That will transform their broken and hurting hearts. A Love that will cover them in PEACE as the winds and waves crash around them.

I almost cried the other day as I sat listening to one of my girls pour out her heart in hopelessness and distress. I want her so much to know the Joy and LOVE of Christ. I told her that. I told her how He changed my life... how He made me new.

I get so frustrated with God when he doesn't "show up" in the ways I would desire for my kids. Why does he sometimes call angels to come! or allow demons to surround? Why does he preform mircials and healings on some? And then leave others just alone in the silence?

I trust God. I think he knows what he's doing. I know his love is the same today, yesterday and forever . And that he passionatly loves my kids ... so when they pray and hear nothing... I trust God is at work in some other way... but it still breaks my heart when they say to me " I asked and nothing... so thats why I don't believe." I know God isn't a geni. I wouldn't want him to be... not really...

Yet I am so broken for these kids, so fallen on my knees that I cry "GOD PLEASE! Show your face to them!"

Sure God wants to use me as his hands and feet... but I can't be His face... and for some of these kids thats what they NEED. The hands and feet are good and provide the Love and care they need... but that LOVE, that undenialable love that conquers all... they need to see His face..

And I limiting God? Am I asking too much? Maybe and yes... I trust him, I just am so broken... I'm sure that only means that he is even more broken for them then I can ever imagine...