the future...

I hate thinking about the future. I absolutely hate it!   I mean the far far far future is fun to think about... "once day when i..." kind of stuff. But the near future , the one around the corner! The one that is just "that" far off, but not too far. Even "Next year", is too close a future for me. 

I would be lying if I said I was a "present" person, I am a "future thinker", a planer... which is why I hate the future!  I want to be content with where I am, with the NOW! TODAY!   I fight so hard everyday to stay "here" mentally. Its always been this way in my mind. I have "planning" burned into my brain from my parents and the need to turn in large college papers! HAHA 

Truthfully I try really hard to be in the present. I really LOVE my present. I want to be carefree and ok with uncertainty...  but its not normal for my mind... its not where it goes when I start to fall asleep. 

I hate thinking about the future! I want to take in ALL that TODAY has to offer me! But I am not promised a Tomorrow... so why does my mind think I am.... 

New goal for the year ( who says u can only do then at new years) -  Block the future thinking... at least for the next year.. then we can thin about that next year =) ahhh see there i go thinking and planning already......