say what?

O man I have had some great conversations over the last month or so, I have been challenged, excited, encouraged, confused, grasping for reality... in the end I find myself on my knees crying out to God asking which way is up. to quote from a conversation I had with my dear friend, Tasha, last nite... " I don't really know about anything anymore, All I know is that I love Jesus and I know the Bible is true so I'll stick with that .... " ( well it was something like that - maybe not direct quote)

The truth is I get so overwhelmed with the hurting and suffering in the World. With the Evil and deception. With the fake-ness and narcissism. I see so much NEED and what can I really do... I see so many empty hearts and lost souls... I want so desperately to embrace them. I long so badly to hold the hurting close and heal them. I want my tears to flow into the river of life and bring Glory to God as I serve his children.

I've given up on understanding religion, on trying to know if I'm doing it right or not... If I am "spiritual" enough...

I just want to follow Jesus… I want to be like him, to serve like him, to sacrifice like him... to spread his love and truth.... to feel his embrace and strength rush through me as I am his hands and feet.

I know I'm going to mess up. I know that I am going to shame him ( O Lord How I wish I was stronger) . I know that I will embarrass him.

But I don't think I'll disappoint him.... He has asked that I be willing... I am. He asks that I seek him... I am. He asks that I remain open to his call on my life... I'm trying.