thankful... but stressed

I have been under so much stress this last month... end of school, packing, sorting, selling, moving, transitioning and now my car accident. Really!? Like I needed one more thing!

I have spent the last day and 1/2 trying to "talk it slow", to relax, to just breath.

But even as I do that I can feel all the stress in my body! Its crazy. I feel so tired, so overwhelmed, so drained... I am on the verge of tears ALL the time but nothing is coming out... even when I want them too.

I was doing some praying and stretching this morning and realized that I haven't done that in a long time... I just haven't taken the time I need with Jesus, to really REST in him.

Didn't I JUST write about this? Didn't I go and then sit at the Lords feet ? Yes but then I got busy again... once a week isn't enough for my heart.

In the shower today I had those "chest pains" that I use to have when I was little. It has never crossed my mind before that they were from stress?! But that would make sense since I had so much un-dealt with stress as a child.

I feel like I just want to curl up in a ball and have someone hold me and rub my back... boo no one where for that =( I think then I might be able to cry in the way my heart so desperately wants to... but for some reason I just can't...