I was listening to this podcast today with a friend... well I was listening only to the last 15 min with her... I had already heard it and walked in on her finishing it. It was really good the first time I listened to it... but the last 15 min before were just " whatever" not a big deal. But today they almost made me cry. The speaker- Shane Hipps, was finishing up his talk about his taking on as a teaching pastor role at Mars Hill Bible Church... and he was saying how he LOVED where he was before, but that God was clearly calling him out of there... even though he didn't want to leave. And how with ALL the different movements of CALLING that God has done in his life, he has experienced great mourning... but then intense and total commitment once IN. I was like wow this is exactly how God works in me too! With EVERY CALLING God has moved me in : Youth ministry, Younglife, Biola, Africa, Art Therapy.... with EACH it has been something that I have had to wrestle with and mourn the loss of the "other dreams" or "plans"... but THEN I'm IN. Once I'm sure THIS is what God wants for my life there is no hesitation! No regrets, no stopping me! It was so uniting for my soul to know that someone else communicates with God as I do... I feel like people never understand.
Its like people think that if God is calling me to something, there should be NOTHING but excitement and joy... and lot of the time I come with mixed emotions, INTENSE emotions and a great sense of mourning loss. I was reading in my counseling class book about how "LOSS" is something that EVERYONE deals with... the loss of dreams, plans, friendships, loved ones, places... it's not just about death... and so in each of those moments as we transition from one to the next we need to mourn the loss, and remember why we cared so much... we need to be healthy in our transitions and losses. So as I sat outside under my banda with my dogs and my wonderful Kili backdrop... I took it in... cried a little and was thankful for these moments that I have been so blessed with.
I was listening to this podcast today with a friend... well I was listening only to the last 15 min with her... I had already heard it and walked in on her finishing it. It was really good the first time I listened to it... but the last 15 min before were just " whatever" not a big deal. But today they almost made me cry. The speaker- Shane Hipps, was finishing up his talk about his taking on as a teaching pastor role at Mars Hill Bible Church... and he was saying how he LOVED where he was before, but that God was clearly calling him out of there... even though he didn't want to leave. And how with ALL the different movements of CALLING that God has done in his life, he has experienced great mourning... but then intense and total commitment once IN. I was like wow this is exactly how God works in me too! With EVERY CALLING God has moved me in : Youth ministry, Younglife, Biola, Africa, Art Therapy.... with EACH it has been something that I have had to wrestle with and mourn the loss of the "other dreams" or "plans"... but THEN I'm IN. Once I'm sure THIS is what God wants for my life there is no hesitation! No regrets, no stopping me! It was so uniting for my soul to know that someone else communicates with God as I do... I feel like people never understand.
Its like people think that if God is calling me to something, there should be NOTHING but excitement and joy... and lot of the time I come with mixed emotions, INTENSE emotions and a great sense of mourning loss. I was reading in my counseling class book about how "LOSS" is something that EVERYONE deals with... the loss of dreams, plans, friendships, loved ones, places... it's not just about death... and so in each of those moments as we transition from one to the next we need to mourn the loss, and remember why we cared so much... we need to be healthy in our transitions and losses. So as I sat outside under my banda with my dogs and my wonderful Kili backdrop... I took it in... cried a little and was thankful for these moments that I have been so blessed with.
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