"Do not worry...." is that connected to PEACE?

Today I was doing my bible study on PEACE. It used all those good verse about God knowing our needs and providing for us as he does the birds of the air. How we should not worry b/c when does worrying add a day to our lives? It was comparing our understanding of provision to the PEACE Jesus gives to us.

I've always had a problem with this. Not that on some level I don't believe it, but maybe thats the sunday answers burned into me . I just don't think that can be completely it.

I took a step back from my book and I looked around me. Of course its easy for me to believe that God will provide for me, look at all I have! Look at the ways GOD HAS provided for me in the past... Then my mind hits a wall... but what about beyond my walls? What about the people in Moshi that are poor, some starving, others selling their bodies to feed their families... The average salary for a house worker is about $2 USD a day... and thats good money and it's a hard thing to go into right now, but thats the economy... and they can live on it. But do they feel a connection between "provision" and God's PEACE ? What about the CHRISTIANS in Ethiopia that are having such a bad drought that its caused a famine? Surely they cannot connect God's provision to his PEACE. Because even there the birds of the air are not having enough to eat, or drink.

Then my mind jumps back to the "unspoken end" of the disciples.... DEATH. They always down play it in church or don't mentioned it. I have always had a hard time balancing my understanding of how to live and love as Jesus, as the church has drilled into me; and the reality of what He and his disciples DIED for. Not to mention hundreds and thousands after them... and even more today. Living a life like Jesus' calls me to will never be easy, nor accepted... will I always have provision? Maybe people will give me food or water, but is anything or my life even promised to me b/c I follow Jesus? No.

My "christianity" has always connected provision of food, physical needs, and such to God's PEACE. Now I do BELIEVE God provides for our needs… but in the same moment I am not so ignorant to think he always does. I think it is separate from His PEACE.

I have heard people base this "provision" off our amount of Faith. Which I can see there is Biblical evidence... but what about those that DO have faith and are still starving? And not only staving but end up dying from it! I mean for heavens sake you can't get me to believe that All the poor people in the world are "poor in spirit" too! And that All the rich people are "blessed"?!

Tomorrow is WORLD AIDS DAY. Dec 1st. It's a day I think is very important. It reminds me that God has asked me to be his hands and feet to the world....

My mind switches to that poem, that I can't remember, but know its meaning in my soul. It's the one where the man is saying " why God! And where were u?" and in the end God answers " Why man? Where were YOU?" I know God wants to use me to be his "provision" for others lives... I know God has called me to live a life full of love, forgiveness and sacrifice.

I know that while God always knows my needs, he sometimes allows me to go "without", so I can remember why I need to serve my brothers and sisters around the world. I know that while my theology might get a bit fuzzy in this whole idea of PEACE and provision, that no matter what I have or don't have - God's PEACE can transcend anything.

God's PEACE is like His Joy... its a gift in my life that is consistent. That is available whenever I need it, no matter what. It's the fruit of the spirit that rests in us, b/c we understand that our story, that our lives, are not about us, they are about HIS story . No matter what, God is WITH us; walking, crawling, sitting in a ball crying. God's great gift of GRACE covers us and allows His PEACE to transcend our hearts and whisper " You are mine and now there is nothing else to worry about. Somedays you may go hungry, but you are mine. Somedays you may hurt deeply, and be treated cruelly, but you are mine. You may be persecuted and even killed, but you are mine. And thats all that matters. " Thats the kind of PEACE I know, that I want to live in. That kind of PEACE dares me to live a "dangerous" life. A PEACE that challenges the "American Church", that yells at the "prosperity gospel peddlers " , that sacrifices everything my culture says I must have, be, do.... Thats the PEACE that Jesus talks about, the one that He gives to me...

Why do the birds of the air not worry? Well b/c they know this world, this STORY, is not about them and they understand that God is GREAT and cares deeply for them... And that's all that matters.